Why Cant I Forget About You?
by Kenjiro Minami
Summary: Askira is a daughter of Hephaestus, troubled and broken on the inside. She is hurt on the outside, too, and while being confined to her bed, she thinks about the three most important people in her life. But there's one she wishes she didn't think about, yet can't help but to think about him. (one-shot (no relation to Frozen Waters.))


**y know... this was originally going to be a post in Camp Phoenix, but then I found myself still writing this about ten minutes later from when I had started to write it, and thought _Why not?_ So I turned it into a story. X3 One shot, obviously, but a story nonetheless.**

 **Enjoy! :3**

 **...**

Askira sighed as she rested on her bed again. She had her green eyes closed, palms pressing into them. She had developed a terrible headache after she had gone outside, so she had returned to her bed to sleep it off. The only problem was, however, she couldn't get to sleep. She was in too much pain to sleep, emotionally, mentally, and physically. She hurt all over, and she tried to ignore that pain with thoughts. But her thoughts kept bringing the demigod her emotion pain.

As she laid there, she thought of Ben. She thought of how much he loved her, how much her brother would risk just to protect the little prick. She thought about all the times they had argued over the two, now nearing three years she'd known him. They had argued a lot. She couldn't believe that Ben still stuck with her, even after all the times she had screamed to him all of those "I hate you"s, and "I wish you were dead"'s, and even the classical "Fuck off, bastard"'s. Askira chuckled at the thought, though even that hurt her. She didn't understand how anybody could put up with her vile attitude. Even _she_ barely put up with it. But Ben did, like he always did, and the fact that he put up with her, time after time after time, made her feel belonged. He made Askira feel accepted, and she couldn't have wished for a better brother than what Ben was to her.

Thinking about Ben made her think about Maggie. The girl who used to be dating her brother, who had once offered to be Askiras friend. The girl who Askira once despised, but now looked up to as an older sister, though secretly, because she would never admit that to Maggie. She couldn't remember a single time when they had had a friendly conversation, all of them ending in one of the two yelling at the other, or crying, or running, or something. Askira guessed that that was just how their relationship worked, how there always be that sort of bristling tension between them. But she had a friend, one who looked past her hard shell to who she really was inside, and helped the broken daughter of Hephaestus. Askira didn't like it, but she accepted it with as much gratitude as she could muster towards her arch- rival.

The next person she thought about brought tears to her eyes. She didn't want to think about him. She _hated_ it when she thought about him. But she could never fully get Gadreel out of her mind. She tried to, but she never could. The son of Ares, the first boy to have ever captured her heart, was also the same one to break it day after day after day. She couldn't forget his charming smile, the one that made her heart beat faster, or his pale blue orbs, so full of mystery yet deep with emotions he wasn't sure how to express. His strong bulk, intimidating, yet a guise for the caring heart beneath. She remembered how he had cared for her, once. How he had helped her at the Big House after she had sprained her foot, how Maggie had said that she knew he loved the daughter of Hepaestus, how when she had asked, he had confirmed everything that Maggie had said. But then, a week later, when Askira finally had the guts to voice her emotions to him, he didnt care anymore. He broke her heart, ignoring her words and brushing them off like they were nothing. It pained her, how much she had fallen for him, only to be crushed beneath the love she once held for the son of Ares.

 _"I don't even know why I ever liked him anymore_ ".

Askiras own words ran through her head, the words she had said to Ben in their Iris Message just a little over four hours ago. But she had lied. She did know why, and it hurt her every time she thought about it. Gadreel was kind. He was strong, he was caring, he was helpful, and he accepted Askira for who she was. He was the exact opposite of her, yet he had still loved the daughter of Hephaestus at some point, though probably not anymore. And that hurt her, because he knew how hard it was for her to express her emotions. But he had still brushed it off like it was nothing, like she was nothing. And it broke her, because everyday she thought she was nothing, and the way Gadreel had treated her after she had told him she loved him...

It only made her feel worse about herself, worse than she had already felt.

Thinking about Gadreel made Askira start to cry, and she vainly wiped at her tears. When she was done trying not to cry, she stared at the bottom of the bunk above her, tears still glistening in her eyes. She pulled her blanket up around her, swaddling herself with it for some comfort, remembering, however much she didn't want to, the one time that Gadreel had actually held her in his arms. It had been a brief moment, though, a simple hug. It had been meant to comfort her as she cried over Ben, having had just argued with him, yelling at him and telling him that she hated having an older brother, even though he was just trying to get her more friends. Gadreel had found her, crying, and had decided to try and comfort her with a hug, a suggestion, he had said when she had scoffed at him, that he had gotten from his older brother, another son of Ares.

But now she couldn't forget the feeling of his arms around her. She wanted that now, so desperately, but she couldn't have it. She couldn't just go to the Ares cabin and request to be in his arms again, and he him accept and hold her in them like he had at the Big House when he had found her crying, but more caring, more loving, and for a longer amount of time as she cried into him. He was away for the school year, finishing up his senior year like Ben was. And even if he was there, at Phoenix, he still probably wouldn't have accepted her into his arms. He probably would have told her that she was being needy, or just stare at her blankly like he had when Askira had confessed to him her feelings.

Askira sighed and closed her eyes again, pushing aside her thoughts and clearing her mind of all thoughts of Gadreel, including that of his cocky grin, appearing in front of her like an after image a a she stared at the back of her eye lids. She wanted to stop thinking about him, she wanted to forget him. She wanted to stop going through an emotional turmoil every time she heard or breathed his name. She wanted everything to do with him to just go away, but it wouldn't. He refused to leave her mind, no matter how hard she tried to get him out. He was like an annoying tic, one you knew was there, biting, sucking, feasting on your blood, but you couldn't reach it to pull it off, and there wasn't any body there to help you with it, either.

So the daughter of Hephaestus was left laying there, thinking about Gadreel, hoping that if she thought about him enough, she would forget about him that way. But, no matter how much, how desperately she wanted to forget him, at the same time, she also didn't want to forget him. He meant too much to her, she loved him too much. She hated how much she loved him, though. It was stupid, childish in her mind. But she couldn't help it.

"Gods, Gadreel," she murmured. "Why do you have to be so perfect? Why do you have to take over my mind like an annoying little pest? Why do I have to love you so much...?"

Askira didn't have much time to reflect on the last question before sleep consumed her, making the demigod lo her thoughts about Gadreel as she dreamt on one of the few happy moments of her younger years.

 **...**

 **Did ya like it? :D**


End file.
